You have just won one million dollars:
I'm going to go the easy route and say that this one million dollars is tax-free. Also, I've had this discussion with many many people in the past so I have kind of thought it out.
1. Who do you call first?
An attorney. This way I can claim the money anonymously and not have a bunch of people suddenly in my business. Then I'd call Wendy and swear her to secrecy.
2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
A gun. ("Stupid 5 day waiting period, I'm mad now. I'd kill you if I had my gun!" "Yeah, well, ya don't.") No, seriously, I'd buy a tricked out Mini Cooper S with the John Cooper performance package, even though I'd have to wait 10 weeks. I'd also buy a small house that I could fix up here on Long Island. I'm so tired of renting.
3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
I'd be the credit-card fairy for my friends with debt. For those without, Powerbooks.
4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
Probably to my parents and my sister, and to NPR and maybe an AIDS charity.
5. Do you invest any? If so, how?
I figure I'd have at least $750,000 left to invest after playing. I'd put about $150,000 in a high risk hedge fund of some sort. The rest would go into safe, dividend paying equities.
I may expound upon this theme in the future, as it has led to many ego-inflating fantasies of what one could do with, say, a billion dollars.