Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood
A formerly full yellow moon hangs low in the sky. I bask it its glow for a moment and reflect on the days and weeks past. Lately my thoughts have been focused on the future Ð my future. Four graduate school applications have been fully submitted, only two more to go. Inside, I feel like IÕm about to graduate high school again, and the whole world is open to me again. All schools and states are possibilities; all programs lead me to an exciting future Ð in my imagination. Slowly, however, doubt begins to creep up on me. In this case, itÕs not doubt of my ability to choose a school and complete a grad program, but the doubt of whether or not itÕs the right decision to go at all.
Why? Why the doubt? IÕve already come to the conclusion that I cannot stay in my current job forever, and that I value intellectual freedom and the feeling that I am contributing to society in a way that eventually may leave a mark on the world. Unfortunately, warm fuzzy feelings do not pay the bills. A Ph. D. program is a 5 year commitment, with a high probability of 2+ years as a Postdoctoral Fellow just before getting a Òreal jobÓ. 7 years down the road is further than IÕve had to think. Ever.
After that, who knows what the future holds. The standard voices are speaking to me both internally and externally. ÒYou should be buying a house!Ó ÒYou should be traveling and having fun and partying and living your life now!Ó ÒYou should be dancing!Ó ÒJust get an industry job, or go work for a law firm!Ó ÒYouÕll be fine!Ó The voice that wins out every time is the one telling me to invest in myself, get a degree so IÕll have more options down the road. ItÕs a high price to pay, both in terms of dollars and hours. As rewarding as science is at times, it can be frustrating as well. Is it really worth putting so many years of my life into something that in the end might not pay me a great salary?
Maybe.
The problem with graduate programs in the sciences in general is that they train you to think scientifically, ask questions, and write grants. Basically you are groomed to become a university professor. The job options beyond that are not actively promoted, but they do exist, and they pay much better than academia, but would I still be happy? Only one way to find out, I suppose.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.