Cynically Optimistic

There was a conglomeration of cooks in the kitchen preparing the food. I recruited Guiseppe to cook the pasta because he is Italian and I didn't want to be responsible for overcooked pasta. He also makes a kickass bolognese. Everyone arrived around 7:45 or so, and we finally sat down to dinner around 8:30. In attendance were a Frenchman, a Spanish se–orita, two Italian men, a guy from the Phillipines, two guys from New York, a midwestern girl, a Pennsylvanian girl, and me.

Dinner was a huge success. Good food, great conversation and a couple of truly spectacular glasses of red wine which soaked completely into the white carpet of the dining room. Oh, and I didn't mention that this isn't my carpet, my kitchen, my dining room furniture, or even my house really. We cleaned everything fairly quickly but there was still a huge stain, and I was sequestered from the dining room as the perpetrators of the crimes tried to clean up the mess - more on that later. Some people played pool, some people loaded the dishwasher, and some people put Tide on the carpet (please, hold your screams until the end).

The party spontaneously migrates to the basement. We have finished all the wine at this point and have progressed on to vodka. There are cannoli crumbs everywhere. Through my mostly drunken haze I realize there is no way anyone is going to watch a movie. As we're cutting up lemons to do lemon drops using a butcher knife I realize that there's no way anyone is going to watch Dumb and Dumberer. The Europeans took on the Americans at both pool and foosball, but I have no idea who was in the lead. While the tournament was on, the group doing lemon drops starts to play "I never". Did I forget to mention that 8 of the people at the party are my co-workers. Keep that in mind for the remainder of the story.

Apparently all this was way too much for the Phillipino guy to take without his girlfriend present. She's still in the Phillipines and I guess he tends to get mental when he's out having fun and she's not around. The drunken females take advantage of this and really start messing with him and I think some mild molestation took place. It got difficult to keep track of everyone. When they tired of molesting the poor man, I got a request.

"Can we go in the jacuzzi?"
"I guess so, but you don't have swimsuits"
"We don't need swim suits."

Not five minutes later, there were two mostly naked girls in my jacuzzi. Various other people rotated into and out of the jacuzzi, and at one point there were four people in the two person jacuzzi. Then one of the Italians broke off the shower faucet, so the jacuzzi party was over. At this point I supply people with towells and boxers so they can be comfortable for the rest of the party.

Most people left around 3 AM or so, but the three girls were too drunk to drive home, so they slept over. As they are leaving,

"Do you have everything?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Hey, what's that in your purse?"
"Oh, those are my panties."

It was a good party

* We have a lot of foreigners in our lab that hang out together, so we call them the European Union even though they're not all European.